Before my hair had grown long, I would wear my favorite red turtleneck around my head like Ariel’s long flowing hair


And every Halloween, I would tell my parents “I wanted to be a girl”. A which are year and a princess for next year


and of course another princess the following year, but you know the point is I was clearly a girl, but the one thing that I can beg my parents into getting for me was actual girlhood.


Now, if you haven’t figured out already I’m transgender, but don’t worry, I’m not here to rate your bathroom take your women



I’m here to tell you what it’s like to be trans, what it’s like to struggle every day with acceptance from yourself and those around you, and of course that inevitable question of which bathroom do we put this kidding


I was born in upstate New York with an identical twin brother 10 minutes behind me.


A mother who always did her best to make sure I was happy and a father whose expectations for a son I did not exactly need.


He expected that my brother and I Jonas that’s his name and before you say anything yes I know our names together Nicole and Jonas do sounds like Nick Jonas.

弟と私Jonasというのが弟の名前ですが、その前に私たちの名前NicoleとJonasを合わせるとNick Jonas(アメリカ歌手の名前)に音が似ていますよね。

He expected that Jonas and I were each going to get our own baseball clubs, play catch with him and go hunting.But. Because of expectations that my father had it was harder for him to accept his child as transgender.


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He wasn’t prepared and he didn’t have the information how to raise a transgender kid.
And of course there was always that question for him what do the neighbors think


So rather than deal with me he buried himself and hobbies and tried to ignore the flame points of his son.


As you can imagine this left my mother pretty on her own for a while when my brother and I were little.So when it came to her child’s gender, she didn’t have a lot of expectations for what me and Jonas are supposed to be like


She didn’t care what neighbors’ thought.She cared whether or not we were safe around the neighbors.


She knew that the world was always going to be an accepting place, so she vowed that at the very least I was going to have a safe place to come back to in her home


The only problem with that though was that my dad at home didn’t get it, so she started trying to educate him.


She loves literature lying around for him, but when he didn’t show much interest, she did what any other sensible sposal do, she left the book in the bathroom.


And own behold, when he had run out of other stuff to read in these, there was a book

そして他の本がなくなり、Jennifer Boylandの「She is not there」だけになるように仕掛けたんです。




This was the beginning of my dad really trying to come around to me being transgender and everyone in my family held (helped) including Jonas who at no more than eight walked(worked) up to my dad and said “face it, you have a son and daughter”.


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With my family on board because start trying to make my transition public, we worked with the school up and are now which is where we moved when Jonas and I were five and we all decided on a gradual transition.


What this meant was I wasn’t gonna burst into school one day and a full dress pearls and heels, and let everyone process that what it meant was that we were going to spreat my transition now over the cause of my elementary school.


starting with pink wearing, my hair longer using the single strall girls’ bathroom followed fifth grade by the multi-starrer girls’ bathroom wearing skirt and finally using my name Nicole.What I really liked about the gradual transition was that everyone was cooperating and it put no strain on the other students, because they were all east into it with me.



Everything was perfect until in fifth grade a student who had moved there at the year before and wasn’t there for a gradual transition told his grandfather about me and his grandfather was part of a special interest Christian right group, and he didn’t think that my using the girls’ bathroom was ok.


His grandson falls me into the girls’ bathroom one day, looks me in the face, and says “My grand pappy says that we don’t have to have any faggots in our school”.


I didn’t know it at the time but that was the beginning it all of my family’s hard work coming apart.


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The school stopped co-operating with us.They pulled me from the girls’ bathroom and made me out to be one who does something wrong.


After a few months of isolation, I decided to start using the girls’ bathroom again of my own accord.


But, the grandson caught on he made another stunt and again I found myself in the principal’s office with her giving me and look saying “You know weren’t supported to go in there”.


So from then on thoroughly an under the end of 6th grade, I was to have a bodyguard who to follow me at all times stand 10feets behind me and make sure that I used isolationship with the bathroom, just because the school was afraid that the grandfather’s group I assume.